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Self-MutilationSitting on the bathroom floor
A razor blade drags across her skin
Tracing the movement throuhg her veins
Forgive her father for she loves this sin
She never cuts to kill herself
Instead to ease her pain
Blood raises to the surface
And drips down like rain
No tear falls from her eye
But with a few more strokes of the blade
She becomes light-headed
And the room begins to fade
Consciousness has left her
While death whispers in her ear
She can't listen, her voice
Screaming is all she can hear
No longer praying for forgiveness
Her life is now first on her list
Looking down, I secretly
Cherish the scars upon my wrist
Self-MutilationHolding the cold steel of it
In my hand, almost a fist
It's been so long since
My last severing
Suffering so much in silence
I need this searing
My demons start the brain-fuck
To break my will, a submissive slut
This time my mind can't fly
When I listen to the music of mine
I need to do more than just cry
Stop the demons' fucking with my mind
I wish the pain could be replaced
Or completely, fully erased
Holding the blade at an angle
I pierce down, no struggle
Images of people's hateful glares
Gone, with the pain that flares
I pull across the vein
My body tries to strain
Fuck yeah, what a rush!
Surrounding skin turns to fl
Deprived and Depraved-the endAnd its five days after that night the night that Beyond took his bloody revenge on Whammys house blowing it to hell and back. Five long days since Matt let him out of his cage of glass and helped him god forgive him to do it. He had stained his hands with blood watching passively as his lover took back what he felt was cheated from him he had thrown away his morality for his love.
Personally Matt thought to this day it was kind of sad that Beyond had killed the old man Whammy Watari whatever his name was. It might have been his fault about his sister but who cared anymore?
Contempt had been living in him so long now it felt li
to see you againI want to see you again,
music, notes, I want
to see your colors once more
to hold you in my hands
and break you in my fingers like bread crusts.
I want to breathe you in.
I want to feel the blue on my lips
the orange of that G
the spindly blue of that B-flat
I want to play you like a waterfall
cascading down past my fingertips
I want to blast you in my ears
when I have no refuge left
and lose myself in the gold and the crimson
of guitar-strings and violins
I want to bury myself in blue, in green,
in flute-notes and clarinet,
(spindly things, clarinets,
like reeds, all white-soft and pointy)
I want to simmer in black with t
Disoderly Love: TeaseTease
Matt sighed softly as he peeked out of the curtains. He looked about to see Mello right where he left him. After all he was tied to a chair where was he gonna go?
He gulped hard as he turned on the music then steeled his nerves.
After all he had only broken into a strip joint that was between owners tied his boyfriend up and now was going to strip tease for him. There was nothing to freak out about sure..
Matt fiddled with his tie looked down at his white shirt tan coat and slacks. He looked like a naughty school boy all right
The pulse of the song began to drive him as he walked out into the stage twirling his step a bit
Disoderly love: part 8Yellowlight
Hospitals are places where your soul dies slowly one second at a time.
Just is taken from you without you knowing it even they leech the joy from your smile and the wonder from your laughter.
Matt was thinking this sourly as he stared at the ticking clock on the wall next to Gladyss husband Harold.
Is she going to be alright? He asked Harold again for the fifth time that day.
The older man sighed deeply.
Still not sure..boy..go get some rest..youve been here all night..youre banged up and you reek.
Matt looked down at his jeans there was a crust of god-knows-what on them he fi
Death Note - Fic.SPOILERS FOR DEATH NOTE! READ MANGA FIRST!
My heart pulsed like a jackhammer against my ribcage as I climb onto the big motorcycle.
This is it This Is really it I thought to myself, moving some of the blond hair out of my eyes.
Double checking that I had everything for the first part of my mission, I looked over to my best friend. He stood at the open door of his car, also checking (for the first time, no doubt) that he had everything.
I shook my head slightly and sighed. He always insisted on wearing his ridiculous vest and those goggles. Ever since we still lived in that orphanage where we first met.
Depraved and Deprived part 6Strawberry gashes
Alone now. All alone. All alone always both of them in their places where no one could touch but now alone together. All alone with a killer. All alone with his only true obsession. All alone.
Beyond had gone quiet after telling Matt his story he seemed to be waiting for something.
Did you take him? He murmured softly in Matt ear as he stroked his hair.
Did I..? Matt confused shook his head.
Mello Beyond said as he shifted again on Matts lap.
Oh I.. Matt shrugged. We take turns. He flushed.
Beyond nodded. Youll
Mohinder Suresh was a light sleeper.
He sighed heavily, sitting up in the bed. The body next to him was warm, silent, sleeping. He pursed his lips and ran his hands through his hair, careful not to disturb the other, though he knew how deeply the man slept.
It was easier than he thought it would be to get out of the bed. The man kept sleeping, unaware of the movement, his back turned to the stirring geneticist.
Mohinder sighed again, glaring at the clock that proclaimed the time to be a nice round three in the morning, and walked restlessly into the kitchen, not turning on the light. He preferred a darker atmosphere. It
SynesthesiaIf every word written painted pictures in the sky,
Illustrating, using sublime clouds, why
Some of our feelings are always buried.
And if every picture taken made divine melodies,
Singing, their tunes acting like magical keys
Opening locked hearts to what they need.
And if every melody created an ethereal flavor,
Producing an assortment of tastes to savor,
And giving the soul its chance to feed.
We'd be in art heaven.
Depraved and Deprived: part 4Chapter four: Poisoned
L crouched on the cot in the glass room in the bowls of the house he had lived in that had shaped him and the one who laid under it plotting nasty death.
He sighed and wished that there was some tea in the sliver pot but it only held coffee for Beyond who lived on it and jam.
It occurred to him he was stalling after all he was only 60 percent sure he could survive if Beyond came after him intent to kill even unarmed.
Also he was only 40 percent sure he even had the ability to kill with his bare hands.
Beyond sat listening as L shifted on the bed his whole body tense as he did his pupils dilated from the dark and ja
Synesthesia Ice-CreamSo what do you like to eat? The boy asked. He had wide blue eyes and long black hair.
I like Ice Cream, but not ice or cream, funnily enough. The girl responded. She had orange hair, despite her Asian face.
Ice Cream? What is that, refrigerated cream? Cerc asked, puzzled.
You dont know? Phoenix arched her eyebrows.
Um is this it? Cerc pulled out a shaker of salt.
What about this? Cerc showed her a box of gluten-free cookies.
Cerc took a step to the left.
Cerc took 2 steps t
Depraved and Deprived:Part TwoChapter Two: Without You, Im Nothing
Beyond has passed out curled up next to Mattnot holding the boy, but next to his side pressed against him.
Their hair brushes and mingles black on red, blood on night, fire on oil.
Matt is not the one having the nightmares, even if he should be.
Nothis dark night, Beyonds sleep is stalked with the dreams better left unsaid.
B Her face is so tried as she speaks. Shes lost weight again; he knows it.
Alberta He sits on her bed.
What did he say?
He named us both, right? Beyond picks up her ha
TrichotillomaniacShe said, I've always hated things that shine.
I've tried everything short of suicide.
I hate the diamonds flashing in their eyes.
And I'm sure that no one cares.
She said, I just need a bit more room to breathe.
A softer bed away from here to finally dream.
I'm not sure I want to know what other people see.
A girl who pulls out her hair.
She said, I never lie or cheat, and I never steal.
I confuse my fantasy with what they consider real.
I've become so numb that I forgot how to feel.
And I'm afraid that I don't even care.
She said, they say there is not a thing that they can do.
I won't see a shrink, I've got nothing left to pro
Near: Mother Day: Death NoteSeptember 6th, 1996
Wammy house in Winchester England has been set on fire by a mystery arsonist. No arrests have been made; children were shipped to multiple caring facilities.
The recent news about the Wammy house was devastating, and I couldnt bear to sit at home all day. I took a plane to England, to one of the places where children are being put up for adoption. I wanted to take a look for myself.
The place where the kids were looked awful. You could mistake this place for prison. I talked to the front desk lady and told her I wanted to adopt. She let me go to se
I look back on my life and see that it wasn't as bad as I put out. My father didn't hit me as much as he did my brother and sister, but why do they seem so happy? Why do they have friends? Have lives? Why do I have to be the freak?
My sister once told me that my mother was awful to her to, would sling insults at her and all she would say back was "I'm sorry". That when they were alone my mother would say things like "You're a cunt" and my sister would reply "I'm sorry". She told me she admired me for telling my mother that she were no better than I. That she was a whore and a liar. That I knew I was a failure, a disgrace, a freak. That
††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††My mind's biggest crush. (1)
I stared at my typing hands, white knuckles, bony fingers; skin looks transparent, veins spidering down to my wrists. Lyrics slowly drifting to my ears, to my mind. I shiver, I looked earlier and it was about 58 degrees in my room. I look back at my bed, wanting to crawl back under the covers and hide from all of this. My mother is laughing, that cackle. I'll always remember it. His laugh starts shortly after, I sigh. She had sex with him again. Every time I think she's not that horrible she does something like this, reminds me that she submits herself to highly promiscuous
You'll reach up to the light, to touch a face of a silent god.
A silent god you will never feel.
The winter took all it had come for, now summer takes apart the world and dances in place.
There is no such thing as peace, no such thing as truth.
Not to you and I.
We'll tear the world apart at the seams.
Pulling at the threads, the crimson threads of the earth.
Our inner demons will show, the inner poison we both share.
We'll cut the world till it seeps the red of our sins.
The inside fabrics of the world will tear.
Bleeding out the sins and souls of silent gods.
Leaving it an emotionless vessel.
The Familiar Ache.
The Familiar Ache
The scratch of your stomach.
The knot in your throat.
The secret you can't bare to tell.
The monster under your bed.
All the pain you can't escape.
The tears the makes your eyeliner run.
Your biggest fear.
The Familiar ache.
The beautiful below.
The blood on your hands.
The blade of your knife.
The bed of nails you are forced to lie upon.
Wired jaws and sewed lips.
Burnt roses and colored glass.
The hole in your head.
The pain that never fades.
The Familiar ache.
The emotions that don't matter.
The mocking laughs.
Paper cuts and razor blades.
Bullets and chains.
The shackles on your fe
Another glance of your face and my mind goes blank,
I never knew what nothing was until you.
All those empty songs.
And meaningless poems.
Slurs of words and tones.
Mean nothing without you.
I never knew what loneliness was without you.
To sit in a full room and feel hollow.
The gaping pain you left with me is all I have left of you.
It sits in silence in my empty body.
Bones and skin.
Amazing I can live without a heart.
I never knew what pain was until you.
The slash of skin and the break of bones.
The cold of winter.
I fell and lost my way in this wretched labyrinth you set out for me.
I never knew how the truth hurts
Cierra, 2005seven year-old prey
for juvie girls
eleven and thirteen
with sloppy hair
and sloppy clothes,
bragging about broken noses
bloody faces, and the places
they were forced to go
as though it even mattered to me
in the wake
of a seven year old crying
because iron plated hearts
don't know how / don't care to stop
forgotten little girl
i took her in at 12
when the nurses and the techs
could not break us apart
little girl with a broken heart, she
told me that her parents
didn't want her
why are you so nice to me
she asked when i talked down the angry giants,
and i said aloud, i said to her
Keep in Touch!
`ChewedKandi has certainly gone out of her way to keep the vector community on the right path. Always making sure that her talents are infinitely scalable, Sharon has put her bezier curves to excellent use, and firmly anchored herself as an inspirational leader. We're absolutely delighted to bestow the Deviousness Award for June 2013 to `ChewedKandi. Congratulations, Sharon! Read More